ASSMAN's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[I Was Almost Murdered]

generic and uninspired

oh, the classic "friendly dog is imagined as being scary creature".

not creative. anemic animation. artwork looked more like pencil sketches than finished frames.

i liked the voices actually. the title is good, provokes uncertainty. fitting sound effects.

average poetry.

[WorldWar2]

lame and meaningless

ok, an intro to WW2 ("based on a real event!"), a brief show of hitler, random shooting, fast-forward to 1945, the end.

what the hell? what was the point of that? it looks like you started making the film, got bored with it after starting, then submitted the 5% finished flash to NG, where you got a DAILY AWARD?!

no, you dont get good scores for some stick animation and i dont care how long you spent on it.

Good animation. Bad anatomy. Terrible plot (nonexistent).

[Rise of the Empire]

N-lol

Incorrect, it was not remotely cool. Or even satisfactory. It was just plain shit.

rexCo responds:

N-lol. What?

[Blockhead: Episode 6]

absolutely f'n hilarious

so, i was browsing today's "Under Judgement" submitions, when i saw "BLOCKHEAD"!! my mouth watered with lust as i clicked it..

anyway i just watched this twice and it had me cracking up. most flash movies here never make me laugh, at most i might smirk. but with this, it was just hilarious and i was LOLing.

happy birthday, keep these episodes coming! i love them all! the time squad episode was great too

[AIC 1 - Procrastination]

nice style

the reviewer below said "where are the arms.. blahblah" but its like homestarrunner.. you can call it your style. i liked it.

the beginning was the best part of the movie i have to say. but i also liked the hot girl getting her shirt ripped off, she had nice tits.. for a cartoon.

well i think this will be a successful series, good luck

HAM-Mosessess responds:

I guess she doooeeessss. yyeeyyeaahhh.

[Food Pyramid Song]

great interpretation

overall, a good visualization of the "song". i especially liked the awesome transition when he says "DIE!!".

good work, i am a learning flash animator and im always looking for animation techniques i could use myself. :)

[The Little Buzzers Ep 6]

I love the buzzers series!!

hey fraser, please keep making more of these and submitting them to newgrounds. it is clear that you are not getting nearly as much attention as you should be getting. your batting average is a superb "A+" and yet none of your episodes have been featured on the front page or have won daily feature yet. i think you are getting closer though!

you have a dedicated viewer base now, so i hope the new episodes keep coming.. i predict that your next submission will go directly to the FP!

one last thing: i love your style. its very unique and the way you've used synth for the voice is ingenious and it works surprisingly well!

[Time Squad [Part 1]]

hilarious!!

blockhead (even though he actually has a ROUND head..) is a fantastic character! i always fanatically await your new episodes and this one takes the cake as being the best yet.

obviously you put a lot of work into this one. and where your other ones were all short, this one managed to actually develop a full storyline! (kind of :D)

looking forward to seeing blockhead on adult swim in the future!

[For My Valentine]

honestly...

terrible. yeah i know everyone wants to be soft on the teen girl submission (which we dont see too often around here), but really how could you honestly like this flash?

it was horrible!! as if the animation wasnt horrid enough, it was accompanied by annoying ass "music". i feel harassed.

BUT, it was your first flash (?), so, good job. not the worst starting point ive seen. also, congrats on the luck of getting on front page.. and getting good ratings. really i dont understand how any of these things happened.

[Punt a Penguin]

kick a penguin to the curb? thanks for the tip

i agree with Geminate.. as far as i know pengiuins indeed arent especially tasty due to their large amount of bladder (fat).

so lets beat the shit out of those useless little penguins as the author of the flash suggested everyone! i think its a fantastic idea and a great way to get rid of those pests.

we should get some billboards up on the side of highways: "punt a penguin TODAY before they shit on your lawn."

jmtb02 responds:

You are a complete idiot trying to attract attention with posts that piss people off. In reality, you have only made yourself seem less intelligent than you already are. You are attracting a wonderful stereotype to 16 year olds on this site.

Act your age... seriously you are in high school and you are going to be a legal adult in two years. I know inanimate objects that are more intelligent than you.

This is not a review. This is an ode to your stupidity.

-jmtb02