ASSMAN's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Raptor Burgers]

mm.. dino burgers

That's gotta be one expensive burger.

Gotta admit, I didn't expect that. I love your art style and the way the scientist (or butcher?) prances around to the music. Kudos.

Sh0T-D0wN responds:

That'll be $5.67 my good man.

[Patchman:Simple Pleasures]

funny

Not sure that salt would be that painful though.. the eye is constantly doused in saltwater by natural tears after all. And eye drops are basically water with salt..

Pretty damn funny nonetheless, especially the hotsauce part. well choreographed with the music. kudos

RiverJordan responds:

Film yourself pouring salt in your eyes and we'll see your reaction :P

Thanks for the review ^_^

[Pico Epsilon]

It's too bad you submitted late..

This is clearly the best submission for pico day even though you're a couple days late.

BiffTheTimid responds:

Thanks for the review, and very funny avatar

[LL - Fight the Power!]

DOWN WITH CAPITALIST PIGS!!

China will rule the world. All praise to tom and Mao and glory to China!

LeafLock responds:

viva la resistance!

[Sketchy Friends Dance]

I'm barely conscious..

and your incessant looping caused me to stare at my monitor for 20 min without blinking. i hope you can pay for my corneal surgery. im blind you motherfucker.

you complete me

TheBoogley responds:

I will by you a corn meal... how about that.
You me, some candlelight, fine wine... corn? :3

[BiteyCastle Christmas]

Animation

Your 2 days animation work is better quality than most flashes I see. The audio quality was also excellent. I also noticed that the christmas lights are reflected/refracted in the shiny ornamental balls from the christmas tree. Great attention to detail as usual.

chluaid responds:

cheers! yeah I had fun with those reflections :)
thanks for reviewing

[I hate MAC ads]

I thought i'd like this..

Sorry, this isn't original, clever, or funny. I don't own a mac, so don't attempt to say that I'm just angry about the flash because it disses macs. No.. this was just really lame. There are so many funny parodies of these ads out there, this really didn't impress me in the least.

Also the whole "all computers are shit" thing is incredibly stupid. You couldn't have made this flash or visited this site without computers. I know you probably weren't being serious, but there really was absolutely nothing redeeming about this submission.

Also, double-clicking wasn't invented by microsoft.

Bobert-Rob responds:

People tend to think too highly of computers. Yes, they're great machines, but they aren't GOD. Just because you have a top of the line computer from a good company doesn't really mean anything. All computers are fundamentally the same, with only a few differences here and there. And most of the other 'funny' parodies are all biased against Mac, which is the only thing that gives them any sort of humor. I'd rather not sling mud at the company, just their marketing strategy. Sorry you didn't enjoy it.

[Commercials]

Please sir

MAKE MOAARR!! This was great, I laughed my ass off. I was worried it would be paroding commercials I've never seen before (because I don't watch much TV these days), but I understood every one. All I ask from you is that you make this a recurring series. Thanks!

MetalDart responds:

MAYBE

[Madness of the Dead]

wow, violent.

That was incredible visceral violence right there, it was very well done. In most madness animations, the violence consists of a couple blood spatters and sluggish movements, but in your version, it really feels like some gory fleshy damage is being done.

You have my vote!

MakoSucks responds:

of course you don't mean Krinkles' Madness animations right? Thanks a lot!